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Thread: The Rebel & The King

  1. #161
    TCB Mafia debtdbruno's Avatar
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    Re: The Rebel & The King

    Quote Originally Posted by KPM View Post
    AFTER A TIME yes as things changed his love waned-Elvis was a hot and cold person, when he was into something it was his passion during that time and it was what he lived for.
    He never tried to change "for anyone" not Anita Wood, Dixie Locke, the list is endless-it was all on his terms-with his rules........
    I think he loved both Linda and Priscilla passionately-madly...BUT where he failed in his close relationships was he never allowed them to mature ...first kisses, roses, baby talk and mad passionate love...must evolve into the realization that it does not stay that way forever-party manners are for early in the relationship for everyone-then you start to notice the faults of your mate (and they notice yours) and the fire becomes
    "a warmth of inner peace in your heart" instead of a roaring fire that eventually burns itself out.
    If you can survive noticing the faults and all the other evolutions in a marriage-you have it made-but it takes work, and it takes time.
    He did love deeply-but wanted the fire to roar like the first moment he met and fell in love...all the time.
    Great line from the 68 film "Yours Mine and Ours" Henry Fonda is trying to explain to his daughter about love (as hes taking Lucille Ball to the hospital to have a child) the daughter is being pressured to go all the way by her boyfriend.
    Fonda tells her (paraphrased)-you can have all the hot love ins you want-but the real love is much more.... its getting up each morning for the 3 oclock feedings, going to work when you feel sick, doing without so your family and spouse can have other things, working side by side to get things done etc........
    Elvis wanted the hot love, the passion of first explorations, first embraces and kisses, first everything......and could never get beyond that.
    So he loved deeply-but a fire that does not get tended properly burns out.....and he would look for new kindling to begin the process all over.
    I love Elvis, his talent touches me when I hear him sing-but he was just immature and insecure on a personal level and he tried to make up for it on other levels....his happiness and (lack of happiness) are in the middle of those extremes.
    Lonely in a crowd, yet happiest perfoming on stage in front of thousands.....from opposite ends of the universe are those statements-but they are Elvis.
    perfectly put Ken........
    "NO-ONE, BUT NO-ONE,IS HIS EQUAL, OR EVER WILL BE. HE WAS, AND IS SUPREME".Mick Jagger

  2. #162
    PeacockLady Diane's Avatar
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    Re: The Rebel & The King

    Elvis was very kind and very loving a lot of the time to many people but he was immature and insecure in spite of all his fame..and yes lonely. In his personal relationships with women, it was conditional. None of the women he ran across could make him break that barrier that would allow him to love them unconditionally for they were.

  3. #163
    TCB Mafia KPM's Avatar
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    Re: The Rebel & The King

    Quote Originally Posted by Diane View Post
    Elvis was very kind and very loving a lot of the time to many people but he was immature and insecure in spite of all his fame..and yes lonely. In his personal relationships with women, it was conditional. None of the women he ran across could make him break that barrier that would allow him to love them unconditionally for they were.
    Actually its sad, Elvis could never get beyond that in his life.
    He needed to understand that unconditional love is the strongest kind-but it is not always "roses and candy and jewelry"
    Work in Progress!

  4. #164
    PeacockLady Diane's Avatar
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    Re: The Rebel & The King

    Yes it is sad for anyone to miss out on unconditional love with anyone, mate, children, family and friends and perhaps rare....I'm lucky to have a few.

  5. #165
    TCB Mafia KPM's Avatar
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    Re: The Rebel & The King

    Quote Originally Posted by Diane View Post
    Yes it is sad for anyone to miss out on unconditional love with anyone, mate, children, family and friends and perhaps rare....I'm lucky to have a few.
    It is lucky to have that in your life, I also have that from my wife/kids, brothers and a few friends.
    Work in Progress!

  6. #166
    TCB Mafia Princess franny's Avatar
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    Re: The Rebel & The King

    Quote Originally Posted by KPM View Post
    The idea of trust being gone is correct, one of my friends was caught red handed-his wife forgave him-but never forgot it.
    The trust takes years to rebuild and it never gets totally to the point of total trust.
    But (and this is the point that many here want to say-can not happen)-she still loves him, he still loves her.
    Respect, love, trust all are connected-but not mutually exclusive-you can love someone and not trust or respect them, you can trust someone or respect someone and not love them.
    Love is not a word that can just be defined in one sentence by one person....its a matter of the person's beliefs...how can one of us-redefine love to someone who already has their lifetime of definition. We can say thats not love to "us" or that can not happen to "us" but that is only our understanding-not everyones.
    Do you truly think you can love someone that you don't trust or respect? I couldn't. You mention one of your friends was caught red-handed, but only his wife knows, how she really feels about it. I can't see a woman thinking she will ever trust a man that would do that to her...I'm sure in the back of her mind she wonders how many other's are there that she doesn't know about. That is not a good way to live. Once that trust is broken, it's broken! It definitely takes away a lot of respect for that person and for the marriage.

  7. #167
    PeacockLady Diane's Avatar
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    Re: The Rebel & The King

    Yeah you can love someone you can't trust and respect especially when you weren't aware of the cheating until later...then it's hard to turn that love off. If you're smart and strong though, you will walk away if it continues.

  8. #168
    TCB Mafia Princess franny's Avatar
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    Re: The Rebel & The King

    [QUOTE=Diane;425129]Yeah you can love someone you can't trust and respect especially when you weren't aware of the cheating until later...then it's hard to turn that love off. If you're smart and strong though, you will walk away if it continues.[/QUOTE

    I meant that you can't love someone that you can't trust and respect. KPM mentioned a friend getting caught and how the wife still loves him. I don't know how the love is still there when she can't trust/respect him. I couldn't. This woman is clearly aware of his cheating.

  9. #169
    PeacockLady Diane's Avatar
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    Re: The Rebel & The King

    I can see a woman still loving after catching her husband cheating. Love isn't something you can turn off that easily...time takes care of it.

  10. #170
    TCB Mafia KPM's Avatar
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    Re: The Rebel & The King

    Quote Originally Posted by franny View Post
    Do you truly think you can love someone that you don't trust or respect? I couldn't. You mention one of your friends was caught red-handed, but only his wife knows, how she really feels about it. I can't see a woman thinking she will ever trust a man that would do that to her...I'm sure in the back of her mind she wonders how many other's are there that she doesn't know about. That is not a good way to live. Once that trust is broken, it's broken! It definitely takes away a lot of respect for that person and for the marriage.
    Yes
    People often say-they have forgiven someone for failings...and when those are marital flings-if you love someone you can forgive them-(but not necessarily forget the fling)
    In my friends case that is exactly how she feels she had forgiven him-but not forgotten he cheated......she loves him but does not trust him thats obvious...I can only venture a guess as to her respect for him...but she has told me to my face the rest.
    You could not do this-others can.
    We are not cookie cutter people.........all different, all with our own sense of how things in life "should" play out-but that does not always mean it is universal in nature.
    Work in Progress!

  11. #171
    TCB Mafia jak's Avatar
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    Re: The Rebel & The King

    If I ever need marriage counseling,Im coming to you guys.

  12. #172
    PeacockLady Diane's Avatar
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    Re: The Rebel & The King

    LOL, don't think I'd want to be a party to your secrets Jak....spare me please.

  13. #173
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    Re: The Rebel & The King

    Quote Originally Posted by Diane View Post
    I can see a woman still loving after catching her husband cheating. Love isn't something you can turn off that easily...time takes care of it.

    Hi Diane,

    We should have "Quotes from Diane" on here. You say things succinctly and wisely, and I really appreciate you, and respect you, for what you say.

  14. #174
    TCB Mafia jak's Avatar
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    Re: The Rebel & The King

    Quote Originally Posted by Diane View Post
    LOL, don't think I'd want to be a party to your secrets Jak....spare me please.
    I think you could take it. Im a pretty boring guy. I would probably have to spice things up just so I wouldn't put you to sleep..

  15. #175
    PeacockLady Diane's Avatar
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    Re: The Rebel & The King

    Thank you Turbo, I'm not all that wise...just get lucky sometimes. Best go with Ken, he's more consistent.
    Jak I would trust you to definitely spice things up, that what we love about you. Sure glad to see you back.
    Last edited by Diane; 07-19-2013 at 02:21 PM.

  16. #176
    TCB Mafia Princess franny's Avatar
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    Re: The Rebel & The King

    Quote Originally Posted by KPM View Post
    Yes
    People often say-they have forgiven someone for failings...and when those are marital flings-if you love someone you can forgive them-(but not necessarily forget the fling)
    In my friends case that is exactly how she feels she had forgiven him-but not forgotten he cheated......she loves him but does not trust him thats obvious...I can only venture a guess as to her respect for him...but she has told me to my face the rest.
    You could not do this-others can.
    We are not cookie cutter people.........all different, all with our own sense of how things in life "should" play out-but that does not always mean it is universal in nature.
    I had it all written and got booted out...it timed out

    I don't know how any spouse can forgive being cheated on. There's lots that can't, that's why there's so many divorces. Most of the time it's because of affairs. Yes, (some) stay in the marriage. Whether, it's for the children, convenience or they don't have a good income. I would say, the love would never be as it was before....trust and respect are too big and once tampered with, something is lost that never comes back.

    Now cheating even once, sorry I don't think if you love your spouse you would do that. I don't think, "things just happen". You are not unconscious when it happens, you are quite aware of what you are doing. I think when someone crosses that line of being with someone else, there's a total lack of respect for their spouse. Nobody goes knocking on someone's door asking a married person to cheat, so I would say, some go out looking for it. At that point, I would say there's something wrong with the marriage and that they don't really "love" or are "in love" with their spouse.


    Let me ask you this and I won't anything else. If your wife cheated once, you stated it's a free pass. What if she cheated for 6 months or a year, would you still feel the same love for her? Would you trust and respect her? I don't think anyone cheats "just once". I have cousins and friends who have been cheated on...it was never just once...they divorced their siginificant other. Btw, no disrespect to your wife.

  17. #177
    TCB Mafia Princess franny's Avatar
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    Re: The Rebel & The King

    Quote Originally Posted by jak View Post
    I think you could take it. Im a pretty boring guy. I would probably have to spice things up just so I wouldn't put you to sleep..
    You, boring? I find that hard to believe.

  18. #178
    PeacockLady Diane's Avatar
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    Re: The Rebel & The King

    Franny I don't know if I'm one your are asking this question of but here is how I feel. If my husband cheated on me once I could forgive that and go on but yes, I wouldn't ever feel the same nor forget...I'd always wonder whether he'd do it again and feel sad that he didn't love me enough to avoid the temptation. My love wouldn't be as strong either because he wouldn't be the person I thought he was. That happened to one of my best friends and as far as I know, her husband didn't do it again, but as I would, her feelings for him changed...she's still with him.

  19. #179
    TCB Mafia jak's Avatar
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    Re: The Rebel & The King

    Once you're spouse cheats I think a normal relationship is damaged forever. Some people might be able to put it behind them I guess. I just think it would be a dark cloud that would always hang over you're head. It would probably be used as a dagger every time you got into a heated argument.

  20. #180
    TCB Mafia jak's Avatar
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    Re: The Rebel & The King

    Quote Originally Posted by franny View Post
    You, boring? I find that hard to believe.
    Donut had me figured out. Im just a cranky old geezer. This weekend will be exciting though. Im buying some tennis balls to put on the legs of my walker. I may even go nuts and buy orange balls.

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