One-liners from elvis shows

[presley31]

Something else l found on the internet

LAS VEGAS, January 26, 1970, O.S.: On introducing his back-up gospel group, Elvis says, "The Sweet Imperials, ah, the Imperials..."

LAS VEGAS, February 3, 1970: "He plays rhythm guitar, his name is John Rhythm, no, John Wilkinson..."

LAS VEGAS, February 3, 1970: "I have a new record, had a new record, it's actually an old record now..." on introducing Don`t Cry Daddy.

LAS VEGAS, February 3, 1970: "In 1926 I did a movie called 'Loving You'. In that movie was a teddy bear called song ah..."

LAS VEGAS, February 6, 1970: "Me and the drummer are getting ready to work out..." just as Suspicious Minds begins.

LAS VEGAS, February 6, 1970: Turning to the band, "Do we know Love Me Tender, we better know Love Me Tender..."

LAS VEGAS, February 20, 1970: After lots of kissing during Love Me Tender, Elvis comments that "I'll go into the kitchen and kiss the cook while I'm at it..."

LAS VEGAS, February 22, 1970: Talking about his career, Elvis says, "I started out as a child...that figures..."

LAS VEGAS, August 14, 1970, M.S.: "I'd like to introduce the members of my band - Charlie, this is Jerry..."

LAS VEGAS, August 14, 1970: "My first movie was Gone With The Wind, or, it should gave been..."

LAS VEGAS, August 19, 1970, D.S.: "Tutt Scheff any way you look at it..."

LAS VEGAS, August 20, 1970, M.S.: "The Gentlemen in the back are the Inspirations' husbands...the Imperials..."

LAS VEGAS, August 20, 1970, M.S.: Following the intro music ofLove Me Tender, Elvis stops and says, "That's how it went, just right downhill..."

LAS VEGAS, February 21, 1971, D.S.: "Give me some water, my mounth feels like, ah, Bob Dylan slept in or something..."

LAS VEGAS, August 30, 1971, D.S.: "The young ladies who stood out in the sun too long, ha ha..."

NEW YORK CITY, June 10, 1972, E.S.: "There's a song I did on the Ed Sullivan Show in 1912..."

LAS VEGAS, August 4, 1972, O.S.: "Hang on baby, I'll be with you later, you know, I'm free, you know..."

LAS VEGAS, August 12, 1972, M.S.: "Say hello to Voice...Hello Voice!"

LAS VEGAS, August 16, 1972: "Not too sweet...The Sweet Inspirations..."

LAS VEGAS, August 28, 1972, D.S.: "Those of you who have never seen me in person, don't expect too much, because I don't work too much..."

LAKE TAHOE, May 10, 1973, M.S.: "I`m Leavin'. No, no, it's the name of the song..." Elvis says, trying to calm the audience."

PHILADELPHIA, June 23, 1974, A.S.: "Don't do that after just eating breakfast..." Elvis says, after finishing Polk Salad Annie

LAS VEGAS, August 11, 1973, M.S.:

After See See Rider, "Well, that's it folks, you've seen the show..."

LAS VEGAS, February 7, 1974, D.S.: "The sound system is frying again. I'm glad the show's almost over. Ah... I don't mean this show, I mean the engagement. I've got to go up and rework the sound system. I used to be an electrician."

LAS VEGAS, February 7, 1974, D.S.: "The guy that chases me around the stage, and ah, gives me my scarves, his name is Charlie Hodge..."

LAS VEGAS, February 7, 1974, M.S.: "This is the suit I wore in Paradise, Hawaiian Style, I mean Aloha..."

LAS VEGAS, February 9, 1974, C.S.: On introducing Bill Cosby, Elvis says, "Fat Albert and the whole gang's here..."

NIAGARA FALLS, June 24, 1974, E.S.: In' response/confusion to the audience's screams, Elvis announces that "the other side (of his new single) is called right over here, no!"

NIAGARA FALLS, June 24, 1974, E.S.: As Elvis is asking the Stamps to sing Why Me, Lord, he says, "I'd like to ask J.D.Sumner and the Stamps..to leave the stage..."

NIAGARA FALLS, June 24, 1974, A.S.: Elvis, forgetting the 'chang chang' ending of Hound Dog says, "I forget the ending, I'm sorry, it won't happen again..."

LOUISVILLE, June 26, 1974: "Our conductor, Joe Guerico, is from Tupelo, Mississippi..."

LAS VEGAS, September 1, 1974, D.S.: Talking about J.D.'s prowess as a bass singer, Elvis says, "He goes off the end of the piano, and then we pick him up again..." "

LAS VEGAS, September 2, 1974, M.S.: "My name is Bill Cosby, I'm a little lighter than you expected." ·

LAS VEGAS, March 21, 1975, D.S.: "The Stamps are from Nashville, ah, the girls are from in the ghetto..." ·

LAS VEGAS, March 29, 1975, D.S.: 'I'll Remember You' a fan yells out in hopes of hearing Elvis perform it, but Elvis responds with, "I'll Remember, you, too!" ·

LAS VEGAS, March 29, 1975, D.S.: After singing two lines of 'I Can Help' and introducing the writer, Billy Swan, Elvis says, "I just recorded that song (and) I'm gonna wipe you off the charts!"

HUNTSVILLE, May 31, 1975, A.S.: "The other night I kissed somebody on stage, and I caught the Creeping Crud..."

LAS VEGAS, March 31, 1975, D.S., 1 am: "Gimme a break, I just got out of the hospital, I don't feel like working that hard..."

LAS VEGAS, March 31, 1975, D.S.: "Honey, I don't know IF I CAN DREAM, that was another guy...Ral Donner.

HUNTSVILLE, May 31, 1975, A.S.: Looking at the audience seated to Elvis' right, he tells them, "I haven't been over here too much, and I'll tell you the reason why. Uh, because I haven't really wanted to come over here that much!"

HOUSTON, June 4, 1975: "I'd like to introduce these fellows (the Stamps) individually, but it, it ain't worth it, you know."

HOUSTON, June 4, 1975: "The fellows (Voice) that opened our show tonight shouldn't have...done it." ·

DALLAS, June 6, 1975: "First of all the young ladies, or they used to be, ah ha ha..."

JACKSON, June 8, 1975, 2:30 pm: "I'd like to introduce you to the members of my group before I go any 'further, not that I feel like it, but I'm going to do it anyway."

NIAGARA FALLS, July 13, 1975, E.S.: "I love you too, honey, but there's nothing I can do about it right now!..."

LONG ISLAND, July 19, 1975, E.S.: "Ed Hill, he's fairly new with the group. He's old, but he's fairly new..." ·

LAKE TAHOE, May 2, 1976: "You wanna get serious, or just a little baby kiss...any kids in the audience??" Elvis asks in mock concern for decency.

LAKE TAHOE, May 2, 1976: With a loss for words, someone yells out for Elvis to just stand there, to which Elvis responds, "Just stand there...they'll fire me!" ·

LAKE TAHOE, May 2, 1976: "Is your wife (to Ronnie Tutt) in the audience, she's not? why you playing so hard?"

LAKE TAHOE, May 2, 1976: "Did I leave anybody out, 'cause I certainly hope so!" Elvis says, finishing the introductions.

LAKE TAHOE, May 8, 1976, D.S.: "The young ladies that you met earlier in the show tonight, oh, we've been working together for about six-and-a-half years, we ain't got it right yet..."

LOUISVILLE, July 23, 1976: "I'd like to introduce the Stamps individually, but I can't keep up with 'em...

CHAMPAIGN, October 22, 1976: Introducing the Stamps, Elvis says, "...we've been together a day and a half..."

FORT WAYNE, October 25, 1976: Of Ed Enoch, Evis says, "...he has a very powerful voice, and a weak mind..."

LAS LAS VEGAS, December 3, 1976, 1 am: "From David Briggs is Nashville...

VEGAS, December 5, 1976, 9 pm: Talking about black diamond rings, Elvis says, "...they don't shine, they don't nothing, just like Charlie..

BINGHAMTON, May 27, 1977: "On the piano from Tony, is Nashville Brown..."

BALTIMORE, May 29, 1977: "Rev.J.D. Sumner and the Stamps Quartet..."

INDIANAPOLIS, June 26, 1977: "On the drums is Larrie Londin, he's about the size of London...

One-Liners Which Were Sung

LAS VEGAS, February 3, 1970: "I'll tell you a little story so that you'll unterstand what I'm talkin' about, so I can understand it, too...cook it for supper, she was a fool..."

LAS VEGAS, February 3, 1970: "If you can't come around, please get off the phone...baby if i made you mad, feel like you've been had, please let's forget the past, before I kick your..."

LAS VEGAS, February 3, 1970: "...hungry little boy with an itchy nose..."

LAS VEGAS, February 3, 1970: "Showed your photograph to some old grey bearded fools..."

HOUSTON, March 1, 1970: "So, if an old friend I know, shove it up your nose..." ·

TAMPA, September 13, 1970: "The runny little boy, with the hungry nose..."

LAS VEGAS, August 14, 1970, M.S.: "...when they found my still, on blueberry hill..."

LAS VEGAS, August 20, 1970, M.S.: "You give me hope and constipation..."

LAKE TAHOE, August 1, 1971, M.S.: "When you're weary, like I am, when tears are in your eyes..."

LAKE TAHOE, August 1, 1971; M.S.: "Wise men say, only fat fools, rush in..."

LAKE TAHOE, August 1, 1971, M.S.: "I said I've made my bed..."

LAS VEGAS, August 12, 1971: "You ain't never caught a rabbit, flea, cat, dog..."

LAS VEGAS, August 31, 1971, M.S.: "We're caught in a trap, I just woke up..."

LAS VEGAS, August 4, 1972, O.S.: "Always lived a very quiet life, I ain't never, I ain't never, I ain't never, I ain't never, now I know, you ain't never either..."

LAS VEGAS, August 4, 1972, O.S.: "Baby, baby, I'd get down on my knees for you, if these pants weren't too tight..."

LAS VEGAS, August 12, 1972, M.S.: "You ain't nothin' but a...you don't know what I'm going to do..."

LAS VEGAS, August 13, 1972, D.S.: "I can't walk out, I hope these pants don't tear up baby..."

LAS VEGAS, February 15, 1973, D.S.: "Oh I wish I was, in the doctor's office..." sung by a very sick Elvis.

UNIONDALE, June 23, 1973, E.S.: "You won't be lonely, at the Holiday Inn.”..

LAS VEGAS, September 4, 1972, C.S.: "...though I'll never in my life play there again, still I'll stay, until it's time..."

LAKE TAHOE, May 10, 1973, M.S.: "And it's sad to be alone, help me shake, make it through the night..."

UNIONDALE, June 23, 1973, E.S.: "It's down at the end of Lonely Street, at the Hilton Hotel, I stay at the airport, baby...you can still find some room for broken hearted singers..."

LONG ISLAND, June 24, 1973, A.S.: "I saw J.D., with bald headed Sally..."

LAS VEGAS, August 8, 1973, D.S.: "When he tried to kiss, kill him, she said daddy oh don't you dare..."

LAS VEGAS, September 2, 1973, 3 am: "I saw Charlie Hodge, with J.D. Sumner..."

LAS VEGAS, September 3, 1973, C.S.: "Myrna Smith and J.D. Sumner had a very mad affair, when their wives and husbands found out, there was fur and skin flying everywhere..."

LAS VEGAS, January 28, 1974, D.S: As Elvis' mike keeps squeaking, he sings, "...oh don't let a good show die, oh dry the tears..."

LAS VEGAS, February 7, 1974, D.S.: "I light up when you call my name, Elvis!" he screams.

LAS VEGAS, February 7, 1974, M.S.: "My nose turned blue, on Mockingbird Hill..."

LAKE TAHOE, May 16, 1974: "Look away, Disneyland..."

LAKE TAHOE, May 25, 1974, M.S.: "Fever, when you hold my, me tight..."

LAS VEGAS, September 2, 1974, M.S.: "I'm not a king, just a man, we'll make a space in your teeth..."

LAS VEGAS, August 23, 1974, M.S.: "A-holdin' your hand, and standing there, to kiss you, when you fall..."

HUNTSVILLE, May 31, 1975, A.S.: "Well well well well well well well, if that's all I've got to do man, I've got it made..."

LAS VEGAS, March 29, 1975, D.S.: On the last line, "I'll remember you'all..."

HUNTSVILLE, May 31, 1975, A.S.: "...to never do wrong, to hold in mine your little foot, ah hand, I'll know, do something..."

HOUSTON, June 4, 1975: "Never know when I'll be back in town...tomorrow night, you goof!"

HOUSTON, June 5, 1975: "I kept travelling night and day, I kept streaking all the way..."

HOUSTON, June 5, 1975: "You know I can be found, laying here on the ground..."

DALLAS, June 6, 1975: "Not much" Elvis responds when J.D. sings "...what did I ever do..."

DALLAS, June 6, 1975: After the Stamps sing 'Oh I wish I was in Dixie', Elvis responds with "You are, you dodo..."

DALLAS, June 6, 1975: "I'll be yours through all the years, till we, we lose our minds..." ·

JACKSON, June 8, 1975, A.S.: "Never know when I'll be back in town - tonight, you fool..."

CLEVELAND, July 10, 1975: "J.D., soul's in your hand..."

NIAGARA FALLS, July 13, 1975, E.S.: "You have made my scarf turn blue, and I hate you so..."

NIAGARA FALLS, July 13, 1975, E.S.: "They'll be so sweaty, you could die..."

LONG ISLAND, July 19, 1975, E.S.: "For my darling I love you, 'cause you take the pill..."

LONG ISLAND, July 19, 1975, A.S.: "How's your new love, I hope he's goin' blind..."

LONG ISLAND, July 19, 1975, A.S.: "Deprived of the love of a father, blamed for the loss of his eye..."

LAKE TAHOE, May 2, 1976: 'O I wish I was in Dixie...' the Stamps sing, to which Elvis replies, "I wish you were, too!"

LAS VEGAS, December 5, 1976, 9 pm: "Was it the spring, and the spring became the mattress..."

LAS VEGAS, December 7, 1976, 9 pm: "...and called you a fag..gazed at your bald head, and wished you had hair...Charlie, you lied..."

ALBILINE, March 27, 1977: "Fever, till you're silly...”

INDIANAPOLIS, June 26, 1977: "When tears are in your eyes, I will give you a scarf..."

source:http://www.babs.org.uk/quotesbyelvis.html

[EnigmaticSun]

That's the charming part about being a musician and especially one who knows how to present himself to an audience. Yes, there are those who aren't looking to be in the spotlights too much, but a singer usually is: and having humor is totally cool.

I once saw a line saying:

Does humor belong in music?

I suppose it does and even though I can't say anything about having seen Elvis (live) in flesh and blood, I could say: who wouldn't like an artist who's good at what he does, but does not take himself overly seriously?

[cameron]

Everyone wants his concerts and I love them too.
However, a new friend sent me all the out-takes of him fooling around with the audience . That is what I listen to the most when I just want a good laugh to feel good. Elvis had a great sense of humor, I appreciated it and can never stay "down" when I hear him laughing. I guess we all like something different at different times in our lives.Elvis seems to cover it all !!

[Unchained Melody]

Elvis had the greatest laugh. Love listening to the Laughing Version of Are You Lonesome Tonight....

[KPM]

In 1974 I bought the album "Having Fun With Elvis on Stage" (A Talking Album Only) it had a lot of one liners and by-play between Elvis, the audience and the band. It was another idea Parker had- he first sold them on his Boxcar label at concerts then convinced RCA to put it out as an official release.

[Jungleroom76]

LAS VEGAS, September 3, 1973, C.S.: "Myrna Smith and J.D. Sumner had a very mad affair, when their wives and husbands found out, there was fur and skin flying everywhere..."

Without having time to pull out my CD of CLOSING NIGHT and trying to remember from memory, I believe the above quote is incorrect....if I remember correctly, Elvis sings:

"Myrna Smith and J.D. Sumner had a very mad affair...
when their wives and husbands found them....
there was nothing but teeth and hair..."

As I said, I am going from memory but I believe this is the way he sang these lyrics during FEVER! Regardless of the exact wording, it is quite hysterical!!!

By the way Jen, THANKS SO MUCH for posting all of those one-liners. It was definitely a trip down memory lane for me to read those and remember when I heard them for the first time on my import CD's! Plus, it makes a great reference for me whenever I am looking for one of those quotes...now I know which show to go to!!!

TCB!
Mike

[Jungleroom76]

Everyone wants his concerts and I love them too.

Right on cameron!!!

I always love listening to one of Elvis' concerts...you can always pick up a little something in a song, or he sings a note differently, or even performs an unusual song or says something funny...it's always a unique experience when listening to an Elvis concert, especially for the very first time!!!

TCB!
Mike

P.S. Hey cameron -- I know this is off topic, but keep an eye out for my new "Jungle Room" segment....it should be posted in the forum very soon....and I think you will like it!

[Tony Trout]

LAS VEGAS, February 7, 1974, M.S.: "This is the suit I wore in Paradise, Hawaiian Style, I mean Aloha..."

I believe ol' Elvis had a slight memory lapse here, himself. The last time he wore the actual "Aloha" suit was during the February, '73 engagement in Las Vegas, NV.


Great quotes, otherwise!!

[Unchained Melody]

Without having time to pull out my CD of CLOSING NIGHT and trying to remember from memory, I believe the above quote is incorrect....if I remember correctly, Elvis sings:

"Myrna Smith and J.D. Sumner had a very mad affair...
when their wives and husbands found them....
there was nothing but teeth and hair..."

As I said, I am going from memory but I believe this is the way he sang these lyrics during FEVER! Regardless of the exact wording, it is quite hysterical!!!

By the way Jen, THANKS SO MUCH for posting all of those one-liners. It was definitely a trip down memory lane for me to read those and remember when I heard them for the first time on my import CD's! Plus, it makes a great reference for me whenever I am looking for one of those quotes...now I know which show to go to!!!

TCB!
Mike

I love that line from Fever too Mike very good funny stuff.

Man I tell ya that FTD Closing Night features IMO the BEST EVER version of MysteryTrain/Tigerman

[Rising Sun]

That was great! Thanks a lot for posting, Jen I love Elvis' sense of humor, he had a great one...
Oh, I wish I could have been there at his concerts

[ehollier]

"I don't know why I do all of these things, man. I guess it's to kill time so I can breathe."

August 19, 1970

[ehollier]

Female fan, "Don’t keep me waiting I love you, I love you."

Elvis, "Honey there’s 2 thousand people listening to you, you know that don’t you?"

F.F, "I don’t care"

Elvis, "Ok! I’ve got a fever blister you know, so if you catch it … Don’t say I didn’t warn you"

F.F, "You can have anything I’ve got, so I will take anything that you’ve got!"

Elvis sounding a little flustered, "Whooo! (applause and drum roll) Can you kill those lights for a minute?".

It is a classic Elvis concert moment.!

March, 1975

[ehollier]

"You’re going nuts and you’re just cracked up out there. Is something showing that shouldn't be? !"

March, 1975

[Jungleroom76]

Man I tell ya that FTD Closing Night features IMO the BEST EVER version of MysteryTrain/Tigerman

Hmmm....I may have to disagree with you on this one buddy!!!

In my opinion, the version of MYSTERY TRAIN/TIGER MAN that opened TTWII - SPECIAL EDITION is possibly the best version of that song that I have heard!!!

But the version on CLOSING NIGHT is definitely a top-5 version!!!

TCB!
Mike

[Unchained Melody]

Hmmm....I may have to disagree with you on this one buddy!!!

In my opinion, the version of MYSTERY TRAIN/TIGER MAN that opened TTWII - SPECIAL EDITION is possibly the best version of that song that I have heard!!!

But the version on CLOSING NIGHT is definitely a top-5 version!!!

TCB!
Mike

That is from August 10th 1970 OS=Opening Show I believe.

That would be my number 2 pick. I just love that raw sound his voice has to it during that Closing show on September 3rd 1973. Think it was where he was pissed at the Hitlon

[RS277]

Female fan, "Don’t keep me waiting I love you, I love you."

Elvis, "Honey there’s 2 thousand people listening to you, you know that don’t you?"

F.F, "I don’t care"

Elvis, "Ok! I’ve got a fever blister you know, so if you catch it … Don’t say I didn’t warn you"

F.F, "You can have anything I’ve got, so I will take anything that you’ve got!"

Elvis sounding a little flustered, "Whooo! (applause and drum roll) Can you kill those lights for a minute?".

It is a classic Elvis concert moment.!

March, 1975

He's talking to Ann Margret who's in attendance.

[Unchained Melody]

He's talking to Ann Margret who's in attendance.

How do you know the female fan Elvis is talking to in the audience is Anne Margret ??

[ehollier]

Can everybody up in the balcony see ok or do I need to come up there (screams!!)??

August, 1970

[presley31]

He's talking to Ann Margret who's in attendance.

Really?? never heard that before

[Diane]

Thanks for posting these Jen. It was a great read.

Diane