Thank you all so much. I have been walking the streets in the town here, like charles bronson in death wish, my brother freaked out tonight and is down my sisters sleeping. Everyday I wake up and think its some mad nightmare. all 3 of us have lived here since the 70s and grown up in the house my dad got, we never left each other. So we are all so close. I never had a girlfriend and moved out. in for the long haul, but what a long haul it is. I wouldnt wish this on nobody it is tearing us all apart. My dad is out of hospital he is on a cocktail of drugs, steroids, morphine soon and god knows what else. I wish i could talk to someone on microphone its hard to explain typing, if anyone wants to be my friend and has msn messenger i am firstname.lastname@example.org it would be nice to have someone to talk to, just to talk to who has been through this you know.