Worst Xmas On Record

[vocal]

Worst Christmas on record

SEEN THIS IN A BRITISH NEWSPAPER YESTERDAY 11/12/04

David Stubbs' spirits aren't always lifted by holiday albums

Saturday December 11, 2004
The Guardian


Mixing Silent Night with rampant materialism... 8 Days of Christmas by Destiny's Child

The Christmas single is a thing of thudding familiarity - brace yourself again for Jona Lewie to make his annual re-emergence, bludgeoning you like a giant rubber mallet as you queue at Tie Rack on Christmas Eve, in a simmering mood of homicidal restraint. The themed Christmas album, however, represents another, not entirely dishonourable tradition. Certainly, the genre is not uniformly superb.

Christmas albums are mandatory, for example, among country and western artists, from Dolly to Dwight Yoakam. Mariah Carey made a Christmas album some years ago, swaddled in her extraneously gurgly vocals. You could claim it was retrievably "camp", and camp it was, but as depressingly so as if that word were preceded by the word "concentration".

Still, Mariah's album was Billie Holiday's Strange Fruit compared to McR&B outfit Destiny's Child's 2001 offering, 8 Days Of Christmas, so vomit-inducing it could replace the Heimlich manoeuvre. They mix unctuous renditions of Silent Night with rampant materialism - the title track is a litany of the bling that her "true love" bought Beyonc?, while Platinum Bells contains a plug for their own merchandise that would make Krusty the Klown blush.

Yet something about the yeasty odour of yuletide has attracted the very greatest and brightest of the pop canon to its naff thrall. Frank Sinatra made seasonal albums, mindful that obligations to the family at Christmas extended beyond the Gambinos. Indeed, you can purchase a tasteful "pop-up" 2004 edition of the Frank Sinatra Christmas Album in which Ol' Blue Eyes does pop-up in the packaging, as if from the grave, to render Winter Wonderland once more.

Elvis Presley cut his first Christmas album in the sweltering Memphis summer of 1957, rendering gospelly versions of hymns like O Little Town Of Bethlehem. It was considered sacrilegious by many Americans back then that this pelvis-swivelling, greasy upstart should facetiously besmirch the purity of yuletide - they didn't realise that Elvis, as all-American as John Wayne and obesity, was playing it as straight as Perry Como.

Phil Spector's Christmas Album, with its host of multi-tracked vocals, is rightly considered an artistic success. The Beach Boys' 1964 offering, Christmas With The Beach Boys, is more debatable, the cover depicting the Boys decorating a tree in snow-covered southern California. Still, those harmony arrangements redeem even banal lines like "Christmas comes each time this year". Even James Brown cut Funky Christmas, donning a Santa hat on a cover sleeve so uncool you'd need oven mitts to handle it.

Intriguingly, the above artists boast between them a less merry litany: murder charges, mental breakdown, drug abuse, kidnapping, mafia involvement and early death. Perhaps this makes them the best advocates of the true meaning of Christmas: varnishing over misery and dysfunction with a glaze of artificial snow, holly borders and rictus smiles. Yo ho ho...


MMMM WOT DO U THINK ?? IS THE XMAS SONG A THING OF THE PAST??

[Lonniebealestreet]

Well, that last paragraph confuses the otherwise on-target thrust of the article.

It's true--there aren't that many modern Christmas classics-to-be. Quite a few of the wannabes do make me cringe. Harry Connick, Jr. comes to mind as someone who has more than a few solid contributions in this category, however.

But some of the most gifted and successful singers in general have/had troubled lives, and as the article admits, so many singers at some point do some Christmas songs...So there is nothing "intriguing" about that last attempt at a point.

Regardless, thanks for posting the article, vocal.

[Captain Elwood David]

EP's unique take on the Christmas material hit me with a very strong impact when I first heard it all as a kid - I still remember my reactions; it has that exact same effect on young people, even today.

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I recent review that I feel is right on the mark:

Secondary source: http://www.elvisinfonet.com/

Primary source: CD Review, Source: Staff Reporter, icWales

"Elvis Presley's catalog of Christmas albums is second to none. Unlike many other singers, his interpretations of traditional festive hymns like Silent Night and the First Noel never felt like a novelty compromise but a seasonal continuation of his immense repertoire. Favourites like Blue Christmas and Merry Christmas Baby are filled with his bluesy, rock'n'roll character while I'll Be Home On Christmas Day and It Won't Seem Like Christmas (Without You) are yearning with lonesome melancholy and reflection. His voice is as emotive and comforting as ever and the string-laden arrangements smoother than Bailey's with ice. So if you're sick of the office party cheese and need something with more substance and distinction this 20-track collection of The King's finest Christmas recordings is a good place to turn. We may not get a white Christmas this year but Elvis will always ensure we get a good dose of blues. Every home should have a copy."

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Just wanted to add:

E's version of "White Christmas" is also a stunner, that should not be missed by those unfamiliar with EP's "unique" take / influence on the "ordinary."

- Capt. "EL."

[Lonniebealestreet]

Great review--that's definitely on the mark.