A really funny Rodney Dangerfield story regarding Elvis picture!!!

[nolvis]

The picture of Rodney and Elvis is in the-Return of the King(non-live)section of pictures -


Rodney said- This photo's been stolen hundreds of times from my club.I told Elvis it was a real kick to meet him.So many people tell me we look alike.

This is from Rodney's book-Rodney Dangerfield-It's not easy bein' Me-

People often ask me what it was like to meet Elvis Presley.While I was working at the Sands in Las Vegas back in the late sixties,I got an invitation to attend Elvis' closing-night party at the Hilton Hotel.So when my show was over,I went to the party.
Elvis was very warm and friendly.He walked in and said,"Hey,man."
I said,"Hey,man."
With our "Hey,mans" out of the way,we had somebody take a picture of us,and we chatted awhile.
I still have that picture on the wall at my club,which is why Dangerfield's has the distinction of being the only nightclub robbed over two thousand times.When Dangerfield's opened,we put the picture of Elvis and me on the wall in the bar area,along with the many other pictures of me with big shots.That picture has been stolen at least once a week-more often during prom season.In fact,the club has been open over 30 years and that's the only picture that has been stolen. ("only" is emphasized in the book)
One night i was standing in the bar area and a girl said,"Hey,Rodney,can I take a picture?"She was kind of cute,so I straightened my hair and my tie and said,"Sure,honey,go ahead."She said,"Thanks,"grabbed the Elvis picture off the wall,and walked out.
I was working at the Tropicana Hotel in Vegas in the seventies when those Elvis impersonators became so popular.During that period there were ten Elvis impersonators working on the Strip at the same time.You didn't even have to look like Elvis-if you wore an Elvis outfit and sang an Elvis song,you were a big hit.
One night i went backstage to visit an Elvis impersonator before his show.This guy was fat and very unattractive,but i heard him tell somebody,"The girl i want you to bring back after the show is the third girl i give a rose to."
Then he grabbed his guitar and waddled out to a screaming audience.Years ago,when you spent $25 to see a show,you saw a star.Today,you pay $50 to see someone impersonate a star.

And a few Rodney jokes to close-

I want to go on the Jerry Springer show,but they turned me down.I got all my teeth.

You wanna really confuse a guy?Join him while he's taking a leak in the street.

You know you're drunk when you take a leak and your fly isn't open.

I loaned a guy $10,000 to get plastic surgery.Now i can't find him.I don't know what he look's like.

I was in a bar the other day,having a few shots,and they told me to get out.They wanted to start the happy hour.

I solved my drinking problem.I joined Alcoholics Anonymous.I still drink,but I use a different name.Oh,when i'm drinking,i don't know what i'm doing.Sometimes the next day,I wake up in a strange bed,with a woman I can hardly remember and a kid with an accent playing with my feet.

I had a date with an inflatable girl.Now i got an inflatable guy looking for me.

I tell ya,comedy is in my blood.I wish it was in my act.

What a doctor I've got-he's really mixed up.Last week,he grabbed my knee and told me to cough.Then he hit me in the balls with a hammer.

[emsteph]

Rodney was a classic!!

Here's a couple more:

This girl is so ugly, that I went down to pet her cat and it was the hair on her legs.

She is so ugly, she had pony tails under her arms.

She is so ugly, she is known as a two bagger...you have to wear on a bag over your head in case the bag on her head breaks!!

My wife is a bad cook...

At my house we pray after we eat!!

I don't think meat loaf should glow in the dark.

One night my wife asked me to take out the garbage. I said you cooked it, you take it out.

My wife...

The other night after sex I asked if she wanted a cigarette. She said 'no thanks, one drag is enough'.

She likes to talk while having sex. The other night she called me up from the hotel room.

You know it's been a tough night when morning comes, and you haven't...!!

Ok, I could go on, but I'll stop. Hope you had a laugh??

[nolvis]

Great stuff!I had a few of those in my book,and i remember the drag one from one of his appearances on the Tonight Show i believe!

[Johnny]

Also his "I get no respect"-jokes were great; such as this one "When I was a kid, my bath toys was a toaster, that was plugged in!"

But can anyone upload that picture here?