If Vernon Had Been Tougher?

[Jumpsuit Junkie]

If Vernon Had Been Tougher, do you think Elvis would have listened? We know Elvis was strong willed and called the shots, but had Vernon been more direct and intervened in Elvis' life could the outcome have been different.

I always see Gladys as as the person in the driving seat and Vernon as weak willed and just pleased his son could provide for him, I suppose I could be looking at it in a narrow perspective and Vernon may have been stronger that I have given him credit for...

[kathy parkinson]

For all the love and respect Elvis had for his parents i don't think he would have been any different, i'm sure he would have listened to them,but at the end of the day he was an adult and was his own man,sad but true.

[rogerM]

Vernon was a tough guy, he said his true meaning to his son. And that`s resulted in a lot of fighting between them. But
Elvis was his own man, so what could Vernon do? Give him spank? It`s a lot more dificult to try to save a person close
to you than help a stranger. You getting "blind" and then suddenly its to late. Also bringing a tough subject up is dificult
to someone close to you, because you`re afraid to hurt their feelings

[KPM]

I don't know if I would say not being tough enough was the problem between Elvis and Vernon-perhaps if Elvis had more "respect" for Vernon.
Elvis seemed to listen more closely and to act more often on recommendations given to him by people he respected. IMO

[debtdbruno]

Agree with that Ken...........

[john carpenter]

He might have listened to Vernon but, that doesn't mean he took his advice. Elvis thought he could control his addictive ways..such as spending & taking meds. At the end of the day..He did whatever he wanted IMO

[lightcloud]

According to Peter Guralnick in his biography on the King 'The Unmaking Of...' plenty of people tried to help EP but he would take advice from absolutely NO ONE. Even the top police guys that he befriended offered to help him get clean but he refused their help claiming that he did not have a problem.

[LaurieT]

At a time when Elvis needed a hands on father, Vernon was busy doing his thing. Vernon was consitantly around once Elvis started to get famous. Would Elvis have listened to Vernon later-no. Why would Elvis, he watched his father be unwise about money, drink too much, and womenize for years.

[KPM]

Elvis before 1956 was not use to every single thing in the world being done for him-he knew that life was give and take-and that everyone did their part. His Mom loved to do things for him-but at a certain age that bothers you and you want to be considered an adult.
But after the huge explosion of 1955-56 Elvis began to get more and more "special kid glove treatment" from literally anyone he encountered....friends, family, Parker, fans, people who wanted to be close to him etc...........slowly I'm sure you fall into the idea that "people should cater to my whims" and the question has to cross your mind that "I must be special, why would all this be happening if I am not special?"
Its easy to see how Elvis from 1956 on-just fell into the trap of fame-"I am special, who can understand what is happening to me? Who knows what this is like?"
Head/mind games.
By the same token anyone who catered to him after 1956, was also contributing to his feeling of speciality-(he was special as an artist, and entertainer, but he was not an expert at business, nor human relationships, nor a million other things in life-yet he,and we, forgot that at times.
Vernon was Vernon and Elvis loved him...... but I think maybe the fact that Elvis had supported him since 1956-may have consciously or unconsciously made him lose respect for him in many ways.
Role reversal-Elvis became the provider at such a young age-Vernon handled business matters......but Elvis had to know many were much more qualified to do it than Vernon (who had little formal education) but Elvis provided a job for his dad which made it all seem ...correct. Elvis was happy to do so-but many times even when we are happy at providing for people we love on the surface-just below that surface is a change in perception of that person. Just an opinion.

[SleepyJack]

Good point.I don`t think that Elvis respected Vernon enough to be led in any direction by him.I`m sure he loved him as a father but I don`t think there was respect for him,he had proven unreliable long before then in Elvis` eyes. It`s hard to see who could have taken Elvis in hand when he needed it...apart from Gladys,but by then she was long gone....she,perhaps,was the only one that could ever have helped Elvis. Just my opinion anyway.

[Jumpsuit Junkie]

I believe that Vernon's and Elvis' relationship had changed well before the 1970's, so much so that he was unable to influence Elvis when he had set upon his self destructive path. Vernon had become little more than a bystander by the time the 70's had rolled around, Elvis has surrounded himself by people who for better or worse had become yes men because they were afraid they would be ejected from the inner circle. So I guess if Vernon tried to become the tough guy Elvis would have reacted badly to it.

[May]

I actually don't think Vernon or anyone come to that could have helped Elvis. I know we all go on and have a good old moan about the MM for one reason or another, but I do believe a lot of them did try hard to help Elvis. And some girlfriends, Linda being the main one! To be honest, I don't even think Gladys would have had that much of an influence on him either when he was an adult. I think he may have tried to please her more (than any of the others) but I don't think the outcome would be much different, sadly.

[KPM]

I think by the late 60s Elvis was set firmly in his ways-I really don't think the tough guy approach would have worked by anyone.
Helping Elvis would have taken someone who could have let Elvis believe that the new ideas and new approaches to life-were actually coming from Elvis himself.
I know that sounds devious, and underhanded-but sometimes to help someone you have to continue to stealthily push new things, until hopefully one day they themselves go
"Hey I have a great idea to make my life better"
Almost a "brainwashing" but in reverse-not to make someone do bad things, but to make someone realise the bad things and traits they have in their lives.
Pounding at Elvis about bad things just brought out the ego in him.....like it does in most of us in the same situation.

[monk37]

I think that the only way Vernon could have helped Elvis was to have not been in charge of Elvis' finances.

Vernon made a lot of bad investments, passed on good ones and didn't take advantage of tax law - Vernon was not sophisticated enough to be in charge of that money.

If the money had been handled better and invested - Elvis would have had a lot of pressure taken off of himself - because he wouldn't have had to be trapped in the make a pile of money and spend 2 piles cycle.

He wouldn't have had to sell his back catalog in 1973.

Being actually financially secure instead of lurching from million dollar paycheck to million dollar paycheck, could have given Elvis a different perspective on his career and lifestyle.

[Albert]

Elvis destroyed his own life, starting the moment his mother died. So basicly, if Gladys was abit more tougher on herself, and kept away from the drinking, there would be a big chance that Elvis would still be alive today. So I blame Gladys' weakness

Vernon did as much as he could, which is as a parent of an adult superstar not that much. Even parents of normal persons can't always help their children to become happy or lead a normal, healthy life.

The way Elvis lead his life, with the people that he surrounded himself with, was destined to die young.

[LaurieT]

Elvis destroyed his own life, starting the moment his mother died. So basicly, if Gladys was abit more tougher on herself, and kept away from the drinking, there would be a big chance that Elvis would still be alive today. So I blame Gladys' weakness

Vernon did as much as he could, which is as a parent of an adult superstar not that much. Even parents of normal persons can't always help their children to become happy or lead a normal, healthy life.

The way Elvis lead his life, with the people that he surrounded himself with, was destined to die young.

In your post you assume that Gladys drank herself to death. She did not. Drinking didn't help her health situation, that's for sure. But was not the cause of her death.
No one seems to realize that Vernon drank as much as she and he didn't die. But Vernon did not have the worry, stress and work that Gladys had for many years. It took a toll.
Vernon did as much as he could?? Ok that is just not the case at all.
As for the people around him, many tried to help and some were a bad influence to. But it was Elvis himself that made decisions in his life-that is the bottom line. He was simply ill-equiped to handle the life he ended up with. He tried, and his means of doing so were self-destructive.

[Albert]

.... But it was Elvis himself that made decisions in his life-that is the bottom line. He was simply ill-equiped to handle the life he ended up with. He tried, and his means of doing so were self-destructive.

You said it perfectly. This really sums up the 'fall of the King'. We shouldn't blame Elvis' surroundings or family, or even Elvis himself.

[sasha]

Truthfully, I don't think we can blame anyone. Facts are ; no one knows what someone elses life is unless they live it.
I think we all try to do the best we can. IF we learn to take care of ourselves ,that's all we can do. I try to not judge anyone else as I can't ever know the circumstances in which they had to live.

[Diane]

Isn't it true that we all do something that isn't good for us? Elvis was just a human being that as LaurieT said, ill equiped to deal with the circumstances life put him in...that's all.

Diane

[paultish]

By most accounts Elvis was a strong willed person who did things as he saw fit and was used to getting what he wanted regardless of weather it was good for him or not . As much as we all look around for " what ifs " maybe a better question would be " what if Elvis had been tougher " . We all live our lives as we see fit and Elvis was no different , some people can take advice and help when offered or needed and others cannot , unfortunatly Elvis seems to fall into the later part . For all of his musical genious and many personal qualities this was just part of who he was .

[Donut]

I don't think it would have worked that Vernon had been tougher, and I don't think he could act that way. His role in the family had been taken by Elvis even before he got famous, so Elvis was always the bread winner and the "boss" of everyone living under his roof. It seems to me that the only person Elvis had a little respect for was the Colonel.

[Jumpsuit Junkie]

I realise that Elvis was ultimately the master of his own destiny with regards to his lifestyle and what he put into his own body, I also don't blame anybody around Elvis directly because each of them individually doesn't hold the key. I do however believe that respect for your mother and father are key to me and my family and advice given is not taken lightly.

I believe that in some way Elvis lost respect for his father and as such didn't take his fathers advice?

[Tigerman1975]

Who knows? I think the few times that Vernon did try to tell Elvis what to do, he exerted his power and put Vernon in his place. Of course, I dont know that for a fact. Its just what I've read.

[Lisarose]

I think that Elvis loved his father, but didn't see him as the actual head of the house, I think he saw himself more
the caregiver [because he actually was] and therefore did not have to listen to his father, just respect him. In other words, be kind and
courteous.