Moral Question.

[MissyM]

First answer this. If you knew someone was cheating would you tell the spouse? Now let's relate that to Elvis. But first take into consideration Elvis's personality. Would you, could you have been the one to tell Elvis that Pricilla cheated. I am asking because other boards that I have been on (not about Elvis) about 75% of the people , when asked, said they would not because the spouse would prob. lie. Then both the people would hate you?? So why would it be any different for the people around Elvis??? Or would you tell Pricilla 100 percent you knew Elvis was cheating???? Could you do it??

[SleepyJack]

If I was one of the "inner circle"...at the time...and I found myself in that position....Oh God!....My head hurts even just being hypothetical about it...am to tell you the truth I would probably have kept my mouth shut...weak I know,but I don`t think it would have served much purpose.

[Diane]

No I don't believe that it's a good idea to tell anyone that their spouse is cheating whether it be Elvis or not. It will come out regardless and there always seems to be a lingering resentment towards the person who tells...don't know why but it's there.


Diane

[utmom2008]

No I don't believe that it's a good idea to tell anyone that their spouse is cheating whether it be Elvis or not. It will come out regardless and there always seems to be a lingering resentment towards the person who tells...don't know why but it's there.


Diane
Trying to "help" a friend by telling them that their spouse is cheating always blows up in your face. Inevitably, the couple will "patch it up" and remain together and you will end up being the one on the street so to speak. It's best to live by the old motto of "I'll mind my business and you mind yours". That seems to work best for everyone involved..........

[TLC67]

There is nothing to gain by infusing oneself into a married couples business. It could ruin what could have been a salvageable marriage. Besides, the innocent(?) party probably already had a clue before you did (Baby, You're Wearing That Loved On Look).
As Elvis sang..."You tend to your business, and I'll tend to mine."

[ksimms2]

yea, tough question. If someone knew my husband was cheating on me, yes I'd want to know. But I also know that you are usually the one to be made look bad by telling as they do usually patch it up. So tough question for sure.....maybe instead of telling them directly try and set it up so they get caught red handed somehow......?

[elvisia]

Once I told a man, that his wife was cheating on him and he didn`t believe me.....he kind of got mad at me........untill I told him that it was MY HUSBOND that she was cheating with...hmmm, then he thought that we could just switch...he,he, but oh no....no way,.... and then we never talked again. Both marriages were destroyed, but today I`m glad mine was.....

[TLC67]

Once I told a man, that his wife was cheating on him and he didn`t believe me.....he kind of got mad at me........untill I told him that it was MY HUSBOND that she was cheating with...hmmm, then he thought that we could just switch...he,he, but oh no....no way,.... and then we never talked again. Both marriages were destroyed, but today I`m glad mine was.....

Well, in this case you were not an outsider butting in!

[presley31]

I have found out its better to mind your own buisness, then to let someone know and have things blown up in your face.

[MissyM]

But it's also hard to know that everyone knows but you, once you do find out the truth. So you feel betrayed by the spouse and the people who knew and didn't tell. Elvis was very understanding of those who did not tell him stuff. Not so sure I could have been. Well, maybe later after I got over it. But I see both sides. Gees I hate the way that happens so much.

[cameron]

I have to be the one that disagrees here .
There are subtle ways to make someone aware of things without blurting it out. It would also depend on how close of a friend this might be.

IMO, the one getting cheated on is usually aware "somethings not right."
They've just not been able to prove what .
Generally, if it's a very close friend, they'll talk to you about it first.
Best to not blow if off, but suggest ways to find out for sure.

I don't think you should interfere, but neither should you turn away & pretend it isn't happening. I believe I'd talk to "the cheater "first and let them know I'm aware of their activities. It would be up to them whether we remain friends or not.

[Suzan]

No I don't believe that it's a good idea to tell anyone that their spouse is cheating whether it be Elvis or not. It will come out regardless and there always seems to be a lingering resentment towards the person who tells...don't know why but it's there.


Diane

I agree! (y)

[Diane]

Both Elvisia and Cameron have valid points here. In Elvisia's case she was already involved so I can see she had reason to confront the husband.

Cameron, if a friend came up to me and asked me outright if I knew something then depending on the friendship, I would either tell them what I knew or suggest asking someone else who could help.

Diane

[cameron]

Both Elvisia and Cameron have valid points here. In Elvisia's case she was already involved so I can see she had reason to confront the husband.

Cameron, if a friend came up to me and asked me outright if I knew something then depending on the friendship, I would either tell them what I knew or suggest asking someone else who could help.

Diane

I agree Diane. But, if asked outright ...I could only say what I've "heard" .
Unless I'd seen it with my own eyes. IF a very close friend, I'd have to tell the truth. I've had a little experience within my own family about that. Not fun, in the least.
But, people that know me usually don't ask me if they don't want to hear the truth. Sad to say, some break up, but many more work through it and do go back together...and we're still friends and family .
They're just usually uncomfortable for awhile.
But things happen in life . I don't call them names or put either of them down. I didn't live with them, so I make no judgements about either.

I'm friends with all of my ex-in-laws (y)

[Diane]

Yup, good way! (y)(y)(y)

Diane

[Suzan]

I've had it happen in my family as well, to me family is different...friendships are trickier...though I would not lie to a close friend (my friends and fam also know not to ask me if they really don't want to know)...but in something like this, like Diane I would suggest they speak to the spouse or to someone else.
I too am still friends w/many ex-in-laws.

[Diane]

Yup, good choice! (y)(y)(y)

Diane

[Suzan]

:D:D I think so too.lol

[rhythmknights]

this is a hard one! just too much drama either way & no one wins. on the one hand you feel like everyone is laughing at you because you're the only who didn't know. on the other hand, you feel like you're the bad guy for even bringing it up. maybe i'd want to know cause otherwise i'd feel like everyone was helping him get away with cheating by not telling me.